Who can take yesterday, wrap it in some gloom?

I went into the theater with the expectation that I would not enjoy Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (with Johnny Depp) as much as I enjoyed Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (with the funniest American comedian of all time, Gene Wilder), and that probably affected the way I found the movie (also the fact that the theater was filled with screaming children, who laughed hysterically at everything that only warranted a slight chuckle. And the fact that because of said children, and despite arriving at the theater fifteen minutes early, the only available seats were in the second row, which hurt the neck). I was not wrong. Gene Wilder is, according to a variety of news reports, furious at the making of this movie, and, quite frankly, so am I. But, for the sake of journalism, I'll try not to compare the two movies.





First of all, let me begin on a positive note. The movie is visually stunning. Tim Burton does again what he's done so well in the past. The sets, action sequences and whatnot are unanimously more beautiful than anything the original movie ever produced. There was a great overuse of CG, which always bothers me, but it was done so skillfully that one often cannot tell it's being done through computer at all.

However, where the movie fails, I feel it fails exceedingly hard. The plot is thinner than the skankiest prostitute's g-string. There are is no conflict to speak of. Not one in the entire movie, and as Syd Field will tell you, without conflict you have no plot, and without a plot you have no story. Without a story, you should have no movie. When Charlie wins (I hope that doesn't spoil anything, you all knew it would happen) you get the feeling that he hasn't achieved anything, that it was simply luck that he won, and that anyone could have won without severely altering anything). Wonka is not excited about it in the least, and honestly, neither is Charlie. It also happens entirely too abruptly. Similarly the finding of the Golden Ticket comes too quickly, and Charlie seems only vaguely interested. The ending feels both overly drawn out, and zipped through. (I can't get into more details without ruining the whole thing, but I think you'll see what I mean when you watch it)

Much of the problem with the plot stems from the fact that every character is dull. Wonka is not at all the way I pictured him, seeming more like a creepy Michael Jackson clone than the creator of confectionary wonder (incidentally, this is exactly how I picture Tim Burton. If I were a parent, I would be loathe to let my child near him, let alone be directed by him). His voice and mannerisms are child-like to the extreme, and his acting (which I always appreciate, just not in this particular case) took its cues from Parker Posey's Fiona in Josie and the Pussycats, lisp and everything. It becomes tiresome after not very long, and when he is the only character that seems capable of speaking more than a sentence, I found myself experimenting with just how many different ways I could picture his violent demise. My friend, John, said he felt similarly, but found himself, instead, wondering if Wonka's outfits would fit him, and where he could possibly buy them. Wonka also tends to have annoyingly irrelevant flashbacks, ultimately culminating in a cheesy, lovey, pro-family message that seems wildly out of place with the rest of the movie.

The music, I felt, was also a problem. In the beginning, a decidedly dark bit of music (it sounds like the opening to Edward Scissor Hands) plays while Wonka bars are being made, leaving me to ask, "What are you being so ominous for? It's chocolate, not a vampire." The Oompa Loompa songs were hard to hear or to understand (though that could have been the speakers we were sitting near, which sucked).

Ultimately, and everyone may disagree with me, the movie is yet another summer flick that doesn't live up to expectations (or does, if you're me). I'm sorry.